


Underneath the Tree

by softiejace



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Comfort, Cuddles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Family Issues, Fluff, M/M, Make the Yuletide Gay, Not really a songfic, Reality, but since it's not an au..., insert "i don't own dan and phil and in no way am i claiming this is representative of reality" here, mention of the forever home if you squint, merry christmas if you celebrate it, v soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-15 22:59:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16942350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softiejace/pseuds/softiejace
Summary: Ten days before Christmas, Phil has an idea.





	Underneath the Tree

**Author's Note:**

> Tonight I'm gonna hold you close  
> Make sure that you know  
> I was lost before you  
> Christmas was cold and grey  
> Another holiday alone to celebrate  
> But then one day everything changed  
> You're all I need  
> Underneath the tree
> 
> (Underneath the Tree - Kelly Clarkson)

“What if I came with?” Phil says out of the blue.

“Huh?” Dan grunts.

He’s in the middle of disentangling the string of lights around their tree and his MacBook charger. It’s a week and a half until Christmas, just past midnight, and they’ve both spent the day in pyjamas, making last minute online purchases whenever they thought the other wasn’t looking.

“On Christmas. What if I came with you?”

He reels in his charger and shuffles around where he’s kneeling on the floor to stare at Phil. The latter is sat cross-legged in front of the sofa, cradling a mug of hot cocoa and looking at him expectantly.

Dan blinks. “What - you mean, like, to my family?”

Phil rolls his eyes and raises his mug for a sip. “No, to the North Pole.”

Dan spends a little longer than is necessary fixing an uneven bauble on the tree, his teeth worrying at his lower lip.

“That way you wouldn’t have to go alone. And we could spend Christmas together, like, properly. All the way through.”

Phil sounds almost wistful at that point. Then he clears his throat, and Dan glances up.

“I mean. It’d be nice, don’t you think?”

Dan lets his breath escape slowly, quietly, to keep it from becoming a sigh. He knows what Phil is thinking. Most couples they know spend Christmas together every year. Maybe they alternate between whose family they go to. Maybe they invite both families over to their own place. (Something that they can hopefully start thinking about next year.) But they certainly don’t split up right before the holidays to take trains in opposite directions.

“Phil…”

He crawls over, too lazy to stand up, and Phil opens his arms, allowing Dan to sit and lean back against his chest.

“You know I want to be with you on Christmas,” he says softly, stealing Phil’s mug and threading their fingers together.

The cocoa has cooled down below optimum drinking temperature, but it’s still sweet. They’re both quiet for a moment, taking in the sight of their decorations, the sound of the crackling fire on their smart TV. Dan feels the light pressure of Phil pressing a kiss to the back of his neck where his hair is trimmed-short. But he doesn’t speak, waits for Dan to continue his train of thought.

“I don’t know,” Dan says finally. “There’s so much to consider.”

“So let’s consider it,” Phil urges him gently.

He takes the empty mug from Dan’s hands and places it at the side.

“What are you worrying about?”

Really, an easier question to answer would be what Dan isn’t worrying about. But it’s late, he’s feeling soft and tired and a little vulnerable, so he swallows the sarcasm and replies in earnest.

“Well, for one thing there’s always the question of what we tell _them_ ,” he starts with what has admittedly become a rather small, if persistent cause of concern. “But then also - how would we arrange this? You’ll want to see your family on Christmas day.”

“We could stay with your family for a few days, have dinner, then take a train up North,” Phil suggests.

“And when exactly would you propose we take that train, Christmas Eve? Very pleasant.”

Phil pulls his legs up so Dan’s sat between them, wrapping his arms tighter around his waist.

“It’ll be almost empty,” he contends. “No one wants to travel last minute on Christmas. And we could book first class in advance.”

“You’ve thought about this, haven’t you?” Dan realises, turning his head.

Phil’s face is obscured from his view by nature of their position, but he can feel the shaky exhale and the way Phil’s leg jiggles against his.

“Even so,” Dan raises Phil’s hand to his mouth, kissing the back of it where winter has made the skin a little rougher than usual, and making a mental note to add a nice scented hand lotion to his list of presents.

“We’d have to check back with our families to make sure they can still factor in an extra person.”

Phil giggles at that, his free hand playing with the fabric of Dan’s jumper.

“Really, Dan. It’s been nine years. My mum’s been factoring you in ever since you first came on a Lester family holiday. She’d be more surprised if you didn’t come this year.”

“Surprised?”

“Disappointed,” Phil corrects himself.

“Sure,” Dan scoffs mildly, but there’s no sincerity to it. Truthfully, he’s quite touched. He knows the Lesters have long welcomed him into their home. But it still manages to catch him off-guard sometimes just how completely they consider him family.

His own family, on the other hand - the one he didn’t choose, the one he was born and raised in - is a whole other deal, he’s afraid.

It’s not that they don’t like Phil. Dan may be biased, but he’s pretty sure it’s impossible to get to know Phil and _not_ love him.

It’s also not like they’re homophobic - at least not extraordinarily so. Dan’s father works in the film business, he’s met his fair share of gay people.

It’s more that - well - they don’t really know what to do with them. Talking to them is painfully awkward at best. Dan can’t count the number of times he’s left a dinner table feeling frustrated and misunderstood, the scathing off-handed comments about his career and life choices.

The idea of dragging Phil along to that when he could be harmoniously chatting with his own functional family doesn’t sit right with Dan, who always wants Phil to be at his happiest.

But then there are _some_ things he looks forward to. The festively decorated house. Preparing the Christmas pudding with his mum, a tradition he’s participated in ever since his little hands could hold a spatula (and that has now officially gotten him roasted by Gordon Ramsay). Seeing the family dog Colin (partly at fault for said roasting). His younger brother. And his nan.

The one person who has never judged Dan for the decisions he’s made, for the clothes he wears, or the opinions he voices. The sole consistent source of support and unconditional love throughout his youth.

And the last time he'd spoken to her, she’d asked about Phil.

Phil seems to interpret his silence as disapproval.

“Before you dismiss it, just hear me out, yeah? I know how much you dread going back there, yet you insist on it every year. Now I’ve spent years witnessing your misery from afar, and I saw how happy you were last year when we spent the run-up to Christmas up North…”

“I can’t just _not_ go,” Dan interrupts him, staring unhappily at the lopsided bauble he attempted to fix earlier. “It’s the only time of year I always visit them. If I don’t go on Christmas, I’m -”

He lets out a shaky breath; Phil’s chin presses into his shoulder.

“I’m scared I’ll stop going altogether,” he admits in a small voice.

Because in truth, the prospect of spending the holidays in the Lester household – an island overflowing with warmth and mirth and love in the midst of a sea of snow, playing board games and sipping wine with Martyn and Cornelia who he’s grown even more comfortable around and fond of during the tour, and Kath and Nigel who sometimes feel more like parents to him than his own and who actually laugh at his inappropriate jokes – is incredibly tempting. He had no idea Christmas could feel like that before last year.

Suddenly he wants it so bad it feels like it’s physically tearing him apart.

But what kind of person would he be to ditch his own family on _the_ family holiday?

“Dan,” Phil murmurs, his voice soft as velvet.

Dan swallows harshly, blinking until his eyes are focused on that damn stubborn bauble again.

“I don’t want that, either.” Phil drops a kiss onto his shoulder. “That’s why I’m offering to come with. Everything’s a little less awful when we’re together, right?”

And God, Dan’s definitely crying now - eyes bubbling over with hot, salty tears that he catches with his tongue, attempting to sniff inconspicuously into his sleeve.

But of course he can’t fool Phil.

“I won’t have you be sad on Christmas,” Phil says - wonderful, wonderful Phil; Dan’s so utterly undeserving of him - and rubs his hands in soothing motions up and down Dan’s arms. “I just won’t.”

He sounds at once determined and a little upset, and Dan turns on the spot to wrap his arms around Phil’s shoulders and press his face into his neck, that spot where the neckline of his jumper reveals warm, soft skin stretched across jutting collarbones.

For a few minutes, as the artificial fire crackles on in the background and their fairy lights twinkle faintly in the corner of his eye, Phil holds him.

And Dan lets himself be held.

“We’ll figure something out,” Phil mutters into his hair. “You can text your mum to see if she can fit in another chair at the dining table. I’ll just eat half off your plate if there's not enough roast.”

Dan chuckles weakly, kissing the base of his neck. “You’re such a twat.”

But he knows Phil’s right. They _are_ going to figure this out. And he's going to text his mum tomorrow. He’s almost sure she won’t say no.

But just to be safe, he also resolves to phone his nan. If anyone can convince his mother that having Phil over for Christmas is a good idea, it’s her.

“I’m a twat who loves you,” Phil hums.

In place of a response, Dan raises his head and kisses him.

**Author's Note:**

> I found what I was looking for  
> A love that's meant for me  
> A heart that's mine completely  
> Knocked me right off my feet  
> And this year I will fall  
> With no worries at all  
> 'Cause you are near and everything's clear
> 
> (Underneath the Tree - Kelly Clarkson)
> 
> thank you so much for reading! please leave a comment if you'd like :)  
> if you want to see me scream about dnp some more, my twitter is @iovesongdjh.


End file.
